A Barrel of Monkeys

Regrets.  They're part of being human. Learning from our mistakes is the best thing we can do with regrets.  We can't change the past, so why ruminate in the shoulda, woulda , couldas in our lives?    The rear view mirror is the enemy's weapon to keep us distracted from all that lies ahead.  God always has good plans for us, but when we are focused on the past we can't see the beauty or the dangers that lie ahead.  When you have a child with special needs, you fall victim to the another trap…comparing and wishing things were different.  When you spend your time wishing your child was stronger, smarter, calmer, healthier, ( you fill in the blank), you are wasting time not appreciating the uniqueness of God's creation.  I was explaining to my son, Ethan that comparing ourselves to others is like an elephant being down on himself for not having the long legs of a giraffe.  It seems so silly for an elephant to want to be a giraffe.  The elephant  has a beautiful trunk and magnificent ears, a grace all his own.  Why would he ever not want to be an elephant?  The world needs elephants.  Giraffes are beautiful too but they shouldn't wish to be elephants either.  Their gracious necks are unique gifts for them and are essential to their survival.  The Giraffe's long neck and their circulatory system is a unique package.  (Nerd alert) Did you know that if the giraffes heart wasn't as big and strong as it is, the giraffe would pass out because it takes so long to get the blood all the way down the neck and back to the brain?  Anyway, back to my point here.  God has created us all with the same kind of thought and detail.  We don't see ourselves as beautiful unique creatures.  We all want to be the same.  Girls strive to look like the latest "it girl".  They sometimes destroy their bodies by starving themselves to be someone they think is more beautiful than them.  Elephants wishing they were giraffes.  Moms with children that are different in someway wishing their kids were more like the rest.  Missing the extraordinary in what they have.  My regret is not having realized this sooner.  I wish I wouldn't have spent one second wishing my son was someone other than who he was.  God doesn't make mistakes.  He equips every one of us with our own package.  Perfectly ready to fulfill our purpose in this world.  And my son, with all of his "special needs" was nothing more than perfect for his mission here in this world.  His struggles were meant to inspire.  His battles, were meant to create courage and strength in his frail mommy.  His beautiful spirit of laughter and joy have sprinkled hope in all the hearts he touched.  I can't wait to see him again.  This time, I will relish in the beauty of his gifts and never wish he was anything different from the beautiful, unique boy God created and we named, Christopher.  My lesson learned, I hope inspires someone out there to focus on the right thing.  Love yourself and your kids just the way you are.  The world needs you to be you, don't waste your time trying to be a koala if you're a monkey.  Us monkeys can be a lot of fun!