Rebuilding

The rebuilding has begun.....

Sorry that It has been so long since my last update.  I have been extremely busy with the rebuilding of our new home.  This is a picture of what our entrance looks like right now.  The paint is chipped, the wood is cracked, it is not a pretty sight.   But if you look closely, you can see that despite its outward appearance, the foundation is beautiful.  This is how we feel  sometimes too.  Sometimes we feel like our lives are so ugly that there is nothing good about us.  Who could love us if we are such a mess?  God sees us for what we are...the beautiful creation that He made.  He doesn't see all of our faults, he sees our potential.  We see the all of our mistakes, he sees the forgiveness He has given us through His Son, Jesus.  We need not worry that our lives are not perfectly painted right now.  God is the great rebuilder.  He can transform our ugly lives into a reflection of His image.  Praying that you begin your own transformation. 

Blessings,

Marisa

P.S.: The following post  will be short on words, but heavy in pictures of the progress thus far.  You will be amazed at what a bucket of paint can do!!!

Tents

Those of you who have boys know how crazy they are about tents.  My boys have been making tents since they learned how to stack my couch pillows.  I have to admit, that I wasn't always so happy to see my  pillows thrown around the family room.  But in retrospect, it gives me fond memories. 

This is a tent my husband built for them in our front yard.  They were so excited to be camping!  It was great!  Chris and I slept inside in our warm comfy beds and Ethan and Dylan roughed it outside with their dad.  

They are also into tree houses.  In fact Dylan thinks that his room in the new house is going to be in the tree house.  I don't know why (or how ) he thinks that I actually agreed to it.  He is telling everyone that his stuff is going to go inside of this:

I'm not sure that thing would hold more than thier bodies...but boys can dream.  Speaking of dreaming...

I wouldn't mind having this tree house myself :)  Maybe my husband and Uncle Chuy (from September Rust) will get together for a summer project.  Wishes sometimes come true...

"Now we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands.  Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling...Now it is God who made us for this very purpose and has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come." 

2Corinthians 5:1-5

Outdoor spaces I love

To add salt to the wound (for not having a girl), our new house comes with a dollhouse.  I would love for it to end up looking like this:

But the reality is that it will probably become a fort for fighting ninjas.  A girl can dream... 

I'm also very excited about this magnolia tree.  I had a really pretty magnolia tree in the backyard of our current house.  It was in full bloom when we first saw the house.  I was instantly in love, but years later I had to sacrifice it for a trampoline.  My boys thoroughly enjoyed it, but my heart has always been apologizing to the poor tree who did nothing to deserve such fate.  Now, I have a new magnolia who can help heal that wound.  God is good. 

Foxglove:

Probably my all-time favorite.  I'm not sure if there are any already there, since it is not the season for them, but if there aren't I will be planting them...lots of them.

What is your all-time favorite plant?

Our New house

So here it is.  She needs a lot of work, but she's going to be a beauty once we are done with her.  You can't tell from these pictures, but she needs some TLC.  She's been abandoned and mistreated.  The story on her is sad.  The family who lived here for 40 years fell apart once the mom passed away.  The husband and kids lost it.  Like us, she is ready for a fresh start.  She's going to get some love real soon.  Fresh paint and a good cleaning is going to do wonders.  Stay tuned for the progress...

This is the entry into the kitchen.

The front entry.  Lots of wallpaper.  I actually like it but it has lots of nail holes and needs cleaning, so its going...

My favorite room, the breakfast room.  In our current house I never had a kitchen table, now I will have a room that is specifically for a kitchen table.  I have such dreams for this room. If you look closely you can see how dirty the cabinates are.

The other side of the room.  More wallpaper...on death row.

The future home of Chris' Korner..<3

And, this will soon have a home.  I made it out of Chris' loved Dr. Seuss books.

Come back soon for more pictures of the rest of the house.

Marriage

Good Morning friends.  I apologize for not writing for a week, but my family and I took an amazing vacation.  Getting back to a routine feels good.  My kids, on the other hand, are not so happy about going back to  school.  As I was doing my morning devotion today, I came across a scripture that I had either never read or forgotten about.  I was praying for a friend who confided in me that her marriage is in serious trouble.  I told her not to give up and keep praying, God can turn anything around.  When we do not have God as the third member of the marriage, we don't stand a chance.  As I read 1 Corinthians 7:28-31, this stood out:

" But those that marry will face many troubles in this life"

Wow!  It is written in the Bible.  How come Disney doesn't make fairy tales with this message?  I guess it wouldn't make for a good movie.  But the distortion of the truth is what has everyone all messed up.  Why is it that when trouble comes into our marriage that we think that it is only us who are having a hard time with this marriage thing?  The Bible warns us that it is not going to be a fairy tale and we will not live "happily-ever after".  There is no such thing.  Marriage takes work, lots of it.  It is only through Christ that we can make it through the difficult times.  I know that this sounds like I'm saying that marriage is only difficult and that it isn't worth the trouble- I'm not.  Marriage is like the waters of the ocean...low tides, high tides.  We just have to know that.  When trouble comes...seek the lord as your lifesaver.  Hold on strong to the promises of the Lord and they will get you through the rough waters.  With every test, your marriage gets stronger.  After 17 years of many rough waters, including the illnesses and the ultimate death of our first-born child, I'm not only amazed that we are still married, but also proud that we have stood the test of time.  My husband, who by the way reads this blog, will agree that it is only by Grace.  So my message today:  Don't look at other marriages and think that they have some magical luck that makes their marriage easy.  Marriage is not easy.  Some make it look easier than others, but troubles are an inherent part of marriage.  As women we need to offer our husbands respect...probably the most difficult calling of all (especially in today's society).  I challenge you to be the woman of "Esther".  Read the Book of Esther, it is a very short book in the old testament.  Learn how Esther treated her husband as her king and in return, he did anything for her.  Now that is powerful.  Have a blessed day everyone!  Oh, and by the way, I know I promised more on the house and pictures.  This morning my sister Maggie and I will be taking pictures of the new (old ) house we are buying.   I will be posting pictures soon. 

Where I live now

I have lived in my current house for 12 years.  We bought this house as a fixer upper in 2000 and spent the next 12 years turning into what it is today.  When we moved in, everyone thought we were crazy because we were leaving a brand new house that was just built for us.  No one could see what we saw in the new (old ) house.  In fact, the movers asked if we had lost a job.  No, the choice was completely ours. We  were so excited!  But reality set in the first night we moved in.  Our giant refrigerator did not fit in the kitchen;the movers plugged the old toilets and flooded the floor;  boxes filled the entire house so that we could hardly move from room to room.  To top it off,  when we finally went to bed the plumbing was making so much noise I thought that it was going to burst.  That night I thought I was going to have a nervous break down.  I cried myself to sleep hoping that I would wake up and find myself in my old (new) house when I woke up.  Morning brought hope and a remembrance of why we moved....hubby and I enjoyed coffee in our new back yard.  It was so peaceful and lovely. It was time to roll up our sleeves.  Twelve years of tearing down, and rebuilding gave us this...

our house

So people are asking now, "Why are you leaving?  How can you leave something you worked so hard at building?  Did Stan lose his job?"  The answers are to follow in the next blogs, but I will preface them with this: 

My journal entry dated 1-20-12

( the morning before the sign went up in our front yard)

" To be attached to things of the world is to be tied to this world.  My hope is in the eternal life, where my home has already been prepared.  It is a place far superior than that of any earthly dwellings...created by the master of all creaton.  A home filled with peace, love and unending joy.  The Lord provides me with all I need in this life and in the everlasting.  My worries I give to him."

When the sign went up I had to re-read my entry over and over again.  That night I had a familiar feeling...intense nervousness.  Lots of prayer got me through the night.  They mostly went like this:  "Please God, don't let this house sell!  Let me know your will clearly by shutting this door!"  God answered loud and clear...  Our house sold in 2.5 days (the terms of which I can't legally disclose right now) but just let me say, that my husband said yes on the spot.  God answered my prayer...He was very clear....

A correction

To clarify that I would not trade any of my experiences:  there is the one thing that I would trade in a heart beat- the death of my Chris.  There is nothing that I would want more in life than to have him still with me.  I don't want to minimize the pain that the death of a child brings.

"And can it be that in a world so full and busy the loss of one creature makes a void so wide and deep that nothing but the width and depth of eternity can fill it up" - Charles Dickens

There are some things that no matter how Christian you are, you can never understand. These questions are ones that only God can answer. I have allowed them to be left unanswered. One day, I can ask Him directly.  Until then, I can only trust that He knows why.  That will have to do for now.

"I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies: and whoever lives and believes in me will never die.".
John 11: 25-26

My Chris did not cease to exist; he is just no longer physically with us. But to be absent in the body is to be present with the Lord.