Progress

For those of you who have complained about the lack of pictures of the house, this post is for you.  I have to keep my audience happy :)



The backyard before relandscaping

Backyard view from the balcony
 

Construction begins
 

Left side of backyard

Some plants and trees go up :) I couldn't wait to see if my furniture worked

More furniture (and Seth our Landscape Contractor extrordinaire)

Alittle peek at the far back side of the property

A closer look at the transformed walkway

And Stan's favorite addition...

The backyard is finally starting to feel like a real yard and not a hoarders pin.  When we first moved in we had the whole backyard covered with outside furniture, kids swings, trampoline, exercise equipment, bikes, trash, etc.  We could hardly walk through there.  It was quite depressing to me because I enjoy spending time in the garden and there was no garden to be seen under the wreckage.  But now...we are almost ready for company :)

October 7, 1993

Nineteen years ago, today, I was a high school teacher at my old alma matter, Baldwin Park High School. It was the job of my dreams. After school that day I walked into an almost empy Chili's bar to meet the tall dark and handsome Italian guy my girlfriend had set me up with. I looked around and could not find a tall, dark and handsome Italian guy but there was a tall white dude waving at me from the bar. "Here we go again", I thought as another blind date had been falsely embelished. I walked over to the table where he was sitting and figured I'd be polite and have a drink with him. I thought of the many excuses I had previously used to get out of a bad date: I have to take my dog on a walk, the dog just had surgery, I had papers to grade. But to my surprise I did not need any of them.

He quickly won me over with his fun and witty personality. I was taken back at how many people came by to say hello and how he was so openly caring with even his male aquaintences. A year later, we got engaged and the rest is history.

So today we will take the boys back to the place where it all happened. We will have an early dinner at the Chili's in West Covina. I'm even going to try and fit into the little red dress that he first met me in. Wish me luck!

(excuse the old picture...its a poloroid..lol)

The upside of Down

It's National Down Syndrome Awareness month and I thought I'd take a moment to speak about what it's like to have a child with Down Syndrome. I'm not sure if I've ever shared publicly my journey through the pregnancy, diagnosis, subsequent challenges and the ultimate realization of God's amazing love through the soul of Christopher John DeGenaro.  So here it goes:

I was just as excited as any first-time pregnant mom could be.  I had told my husband before we were married that I wanted to get pregnant as soon as we said "I do".  To me, there could be nothing better in this world than to be a mommy. I was eager to get pregnant, but it took two years before I finally got pregnant. It seemed like an eternity, but I now understand that God gave me that time  alone with my husband to prepare us both for what was to come.

My dream had finally come true- I was finally pregnant!   I began to plan the nursery, and started taking all of my vitamins and eating all of the right things (and then some...). I was so excited that I could hardly stand it. I loved being pregnant.  I felt  pretty having a big round belly that could be explained as pregnancy and not the lack of seeing the inside of a gym since high school. I had just finished teaching third grade that year and although I was looking forward to going back to teaching high school, I gave my notice that I would not return in the fall.  The baby would be born in December and I didn't want to leave a class mid year.  I had six more months of preganancy left, but I kept myself busy with getting everything I needed ready for the arrival of our little one.

I was getting all of my ducks in a row.  A perfect nursery, my job on hold, my belly growing beautifully,  my life seemed perfect.  And then the fifth month came. The first phone call: "Your AFP came back elevated, but probably a false positive. You are only 29, chances are slim". Fear ripped through my body. The thoughts of what a baby with Down Syndrome would be like terrorized me.  I imagined the worst. The doctor suggested we do the amniocentesis so that it would calm our anxieties since the baby most likely did not have Down Syndrome. Eager to dismiss the awful thought that our child would not be "perfect", we agreed. Back in 1997, we had to wait for two weeks before the results would come back.  Two very long weeks.  Then the second call: "Mrs. DeGenaro? Is your husband available so that the doctor may speak to the both of you?". The doctor proceeded to tell us that our child was going to be Mongoloid. "Mongoloid? What's that?", demanded my husband. Mongoloid is a term used in the third world countries.  My Doctor being old and ready to retire, was still calling children with Down Syndrome Mongoloid.  Having heard the term before, I calmed my husband by saying "He has Down Syndrome".  My husband, breathed a sigh of relief.  He could deal with Down Syndrome, but not the horrible sounding Mongoloidism. 

So this was our induction to the world of Down Syndrome.  The days following were filled with meetings at the geneticist's office to discuss our "options" with us.  We were told  that the only option was abortion or a doomed life of utter hardship.  They supplied us with laundry lists of the the things the baby would probably never be able to do.  I was also told of the many medical problems that the baby could have.  There seemed to be nothing good about a child with this condition. At the time I called myself a Christian but I really had no relationship with the Lord to speak of.  But even so, I knew and my husband knew that ending a baby's life because he wasn't going to be "perfect" was wrong.  How could we terminate the pregnancy that we had so desperately wanted?  We decided that abortion was not an option for us.  If this was the baby that God was sending us, then we were not going to reject it based on chromosomes.  So with a somber heart we left the doctors office ready to face the doom that lurked in the horizon.

When you stop and think about your life in retrospect, you can see how God is always preparing you for your journey and how he puts people in our lives that help you through the valleys.  We were blessed to live next door to the most amazing people you would ever want to be neighbors with.  I can write a whole chapter about Tim and Debbie and their kindness.  Tim and Debbie were Christians, true Christians.  They show you with their actions how much love they have in their hearts.  It was Debbie who introduced me to a woman named Patty who had a child with Down Syndrome.  I will never forget the day I met Patty and her beautiful five-year-old, Evan.  He looked like the little boy from Gerry McGuire.  The two of them were like a ray of sunshine for my gloomy life.  Patty looked down at Evan and told him that I was going to have a baby.  He looked up at me and said, "Congratulations!".  My heart was melted, and my hope was ignited.  Here before me stood a boy who could talk, who could walk, who could read, who could relate to people...everything that I had just been told my child would probably not be able to do.  It was that moment that I decided I would fight the world if I had to, but I was going to give this baby every fighting chance to be the best that he could be.  Maybe he would not do everything I saw Evan doing, but we were surely going to give him all the support he needed to have the best life possible. 

In an effort to shorten my post, I will have to continue my story in another chapter.  But for those of you that did not have the privilege of knowing Chris, I just want to say that the ending to this story is amazing.  He did learn to do all those things and then some.  What's most amazing about Chris is that he did all those things despite undergoing six major surgeries by the time he was six months old ( including open heart surgery, resection of his bowels, gangrene in the intestine and dependency on iv nutrition for the first two years of his life).  And if you ask me today if I'm glad I didn't consider my "options" at five months of pregnancy, the answer is unequivocally "YES!"  I cannot even imagine not having had Chris is my life.  I am the person I am today because I had a boy who taught me so much.  Through Chris God taught me to speak up, fight for what is right, never give up and most of all that God is ever-present in our lives (even though we don't think so). 

Blessings to you all and if you have the honor of having a child with Down Syndrome in your life, please give them a hug from me.  I miss the oodles of hugs and kisses that Chris gave me.  Savor yours!

 

" Well done, good and faithful servant" (Matt. 25:23NKJ)

I've read this passage before and have often pondered on whether or not the Lord would say that of me when I go before Him.  I sure hope so.  I have to be honest and admit that my comparisons to  Mother Theresa  said that I didn't stand a chance.  How can I even come close?  But, as I've said before, this is the area that I'm working on...perfection.  The strive to be perfect or at least appear to be, is quite stifling. 

Yesterday I was shown how much of a difference small things can make.  All summer long Dylan wanted to visit his friend from school.  He had given his friend our phone number and told him to have his mom call me so that they could get together.  But, typical second grader, he either forgot or lost the number.  He never called.  Dylan, who is as persistent as they get, wanted to go to his house anyway (even though we didn't know where this boy lived).  So the summer went by, not without the occasional request to drive by the streets surrounding the school looking for a glimpse of Julian. 

The boys are back in school and to Dylan's delight, his friend is in his class!  Yesterday was "meet the teacher day" and parents also got a chance to meet each other.  I met Julian's mom and took the opportunity to tell her how much Dylan really likes her son and that he had been wanting to play with him all summer.  She told me that Julian's dad passed away of a sudden heart attack 5 months ago.  I could see the sadness in her face as she spoke.  My heart broke and a reality hit.  The boy who needed an extra friend , some distraction this summer, had a friend that was eagerly seeking him.  My heart was touched at how amazing God is.  Here are two little boys who happen to like each other, who God put together because they would need each other.  No one can understand the bittier sting of the loss of a significant loved one than someone who has felt that same loss. 

The boys spent time playing and I spent time talking to Julian's mother.  Here is a courageous mother of four (ranging from 3 to 17), who is still making payments for her husband's funeral from her Jack-in-the Box salary, rasing four kids, trying to learn how to drive......how humbling. 

Sometimes we forget the world around us.   Sometimes we think that we need to go across the world to make a difference.  If we just take our eyes off ourselves  for a bit, we would realize that the need is all around us.  Perhaps its your neighbor, someone in your own family, or maybe your child's best friend.  I thank God that I took the time to hear what God was trying to tell me yesterday.  Change begins close to home.  It can be so subtle that no one even knows what you did.  But one person does...and that's all that matters.

Blessings to you all and I hope that this story has made you as grateful as it did me. 

The Pantry

This room used to be a bathroom.  Right next to it is another bathroom, which I thought was awfully silly and so I convinced my husband to let me turn it into a pantry.  This is what it looked like before I had the shelves built in.  I thought that my use of these odds and ends would be okay to use as pantry shelving.

The problem was that they were too big and bulky and they used up all of my floor space.  They were also too deep for me to see what I actually had.

 But they did the trick until I got these:

 As you can see, I opted to stick my microwave in my pantry to save counter and cabinate space in the kitchen.  I was second guessing my decision until the cabinate went in. 

 Now I can see what I have in stock.

 I love the fact that I have a counter space in the pantry.  Finally a place for my beloved mixer.  I don't even have to move it to use it!

 As a treat for us all, look who steals a candid...

 These beautiful deer come down from the canyon everyday.  They come to eat our oranges.

 It is a family of five that travels together everyday.  Today however, it seems there's a new fawn.  The drama...I didn't notice anyone pregnant yesterday.  Could this be a visiting cousin??

They are cute for now.  Not sure how much I will enjoy them smorgasborging on my new garden that is coming....Oh deer!

Agape love

As a culture (and especially as a girl) we tend to use the word love a little liberally. We say we love our kids, our favorite television show, our husbands, our chocolate, our coffee...  The list goes on and on.  But there are differing degrees of love. You can't love your peanut butter as much as your kids or chocolate more than your husband (on most days) JK.  Seriously though, there is a difference. 

 I've been reading Max Lucado's book, 3:16 The Nubers of Hope ,during my morning devotional time and yesterday's chapter was on love, agape love.  Agape love is more of an action and a decision rather than a feeling. It is the kind of love that leads mothers and fathers into burning buildings to save their children's lives.  It is the kind of love that you see in the hallways of children's hospitals everywhere. Mothers and fathers that have gone without sleeping, without eating without leaving their child's side for days without end.  I have been fortunate enough to have been witness to agape love in action. 

There's my friend Krissi who has devoted her life to keeping her son alive. She never, not once took no for an answer-even when the doctors told her that it was hopeless "prepare yourself, for he is not going to make it", they said. She said "I'm not accepting that" and found an answer, half a country away. He beat the odds a hundred times and counting.  His story would take a book to tell.  His name is Dylan and he inspires me so much that I named my youngest son after him.  But this story could not be told if was not for the agape love of his mother who gave and sacrificed it all to make this moment happen:

His high school graduation. This picture brings me to tears because I know the price that was paid to see this moment happen. 

Another example of agape love is my friend Heather.  Despite having six children, the last of which had seizures in utero, leukemia at one, and awaiting brain surgery continues to fight for  Down Syndrome causes.  She makes blankets for the kids in the cancer ward.  She spends time talking with moms at their darkest hours. She brings food and love for those that are weary. She makes those she touches feel like they are so important to her that there is nothing else in the world that she has to do but to spend time talking and encouraging them.  She also has time to blog about her journey. You should read her inspiring blog here:

 

Littlewonders blogspot

Agape love is not just about parental love.  It's the couple that has been married for 50 years and still hold hands as they stroll through the park.  My grandmother who recently died, had agape love.  The love of her life, my grandpa, died at 58 years old of Alzheimer's.  She slept on the floor next to his bed for years before he died so as to make sure he didn't escape. The last few years of his life he did not know who she was, but that didn't change her love for him.  He would tell her "you're too old and ugly to be my wife", yet she never stopped taking care of him. She never complained, she just kept pressing on, taking good care of him, loving him until the end.

People used to ask me how I did it when Chris was in the hospital. How do you manage to do what you do? I would just say that I just did what I had to do.  There wasn't another option. I guess my answer would now be "agape love". Agape love comes from God. "We love because He first loved us" 1John 4:19. I never understood this passage until now.  The indescribable love that  comes from situations like these are a mere glimpse of how God loves us.  It is hard to take it all in, much less really believe that he could love us so much.  Really?  Me, the sinner?  Yes, all of us, with all of our imperfections.  "For God so (agapao) the world..."

 

The Library

 My books finally have a place of their own.  I have always wanted to display the many wonderful children's books that I have collected over the years.  I love collecting old books such as the ones on my top shelf.  They have the prettiest illustrations.

 The library is the place of honor for my Chris.  This is the picture we used for his memorial service.  It shows him enjoying his books.  My dear friend Jennifer did such a nice job capturing his love of reading.  This black apothecary chest was in his room and it held all of his favorite books.  So together they hold a place of honor in the library.

This bookshelf holds the many Dr Seuss books that have either been donated to Chris' Korner or were Chris' personal books.  This is the rocking chair that was in Chris' nursery.  I bought the giant Cat in the Hat when he was just a baby...little did I know what a huge fan he would become. (The Domo is Dylan's addition)

 Sorry for the fuzzy picture (camera phone).  This is a pennant banner I made from a Little Red Riding Hood book that had great illustrations.  I just love it!  I will be making more with other torn and tattered books.  Here's a close-up of one of the pennants:

And lastly, here's the view of the library from the kitchen: 

Since it's where I spend most of my time, I do enjoy being just a step away from the library.  I'll post more pics next time of the other rooms. Blessings!